How many marriages survive an affair?
I’ve read on several websites that the majority of marriages survive an affair but then when I see statistics it says that only 35% survive and that only about 15% of those that do survive end up happy in the end. Does anyone know what the real statistics are? Do most survive? If so, do you really think they are happy again?
I don’t know the statistics, but ours survived. She cheated. We went to counseling. She had to learn why she did it and I had to learn how to forgive her. It took work on both parts. Neither of us wanted to end our marriage. Now, 35 yrs later, we are still together. And we have never mentioned it again since therapy ended.
I think zero should survive, if he or she cheats then they were never INLOVE
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Mine didn’t. I divorced him ASAP.
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More marriages survive affairs than we realise. The main reasons being financial and children. Whether they end up being happier than before is another matter.
Its my guess that if both partners are middle aged, they are more likely to find true happiness as they go along, mainly because the cheating would have stopped as the man’s testosterone levels drop!!!
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Only 10% of all marriages over-all are happy so if 15% end up happy after an affair… that’s a 5% bump and as hard as it might be to believe it is not uncommon for people to say their marriage vastly improved they have never been happier after an affair comes to light and both parties stay committed and work out the underlying problems.
About 50% of the couples that try to stay together post-affair actually do.
With your statistics, that suggest 70% try to.
Do not for a second believe that men cheat and women don’t – both cheat at about the same rates (they do both need someone to cheat with) which is a staggering 40~50% over the life-time of a marriage and 5% of all marriages at any given moment have an at least one unfaithful partner.
Oh that’s the other part, it’s almost impossible to cheat without your spouse knowing something is amiss. At some level they have to ignore you and typically that distancing happens a while before the affair and is no small part of the reason for the affair.
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Mine didnt. She stepped out. I lost my mind. Vomiting-screaming and cursing God for months. Staying out til all hours. None of my behavior aided us but in the end I just couldnt live with the betrayal. Once a divorce starts, it becomes a game of cat and mouse. You even lose touch of why you are doing it. It becomes its own life force and becomes a she did this so now I do this. I honestly believe that for those that say they are happier after the affair that the one doing the talking is the offender, there is NO going back.
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I don’t know the statistics, but ours survived. She cheated. We went to counseling. She had to learn why she did it and I had to learn how to forgive her. It took work on both parts. Neither of us wanted to end our marriage. Now, 35 yrs later, we are still together. And we have never mentioned it again since therapy ended.
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I’m guessing you mean survive after the Affair is Known. What ever numbers we agree on, Adultery is not helpful. Marriage has been on a downward trend, significantly so, since 1960—the pill. I can’t imagine marriage trending upward as promiscuity becomes ever more the norm. Marriage just doesn’t fit with promiscuity. Children, once the center piece of marriage, are disposable entities who mature in spite of systemic neglect. Study after study shows 30% of all children are the product of paternal fraud—mommy’s secret lover. Men will eventually refuse to sign a one-sided marriage contract and that will be ‘that.’ Do you find all this depressing or liberating? Depends on who is the adulterer. Huh.
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break free from the affair review…
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